Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dear Mom,

How are you?  I'm doing ok tonight.  Just been thinking a lot about you lately.  Lots of reminiscing, lots of memories, lots of thinking about how the year has gone by so quickly.

Tonight I had solo practice & I finally feel ok with my songs...beginning to end.  I plan on getting in some dance time every night up until we leave...every night except for saturday anyway.

About a week ago I came across a blog that brought back so many things.

This was the first entry that I read...CLICK HERE.

And then today, i went back & read that her daddy had passed & read this....CLICK HERE.

I remember the last 24 hours so vividly....but I will save it for another day.

I love you.  so.  much.  I miss you, your smile, your will to fight, your love for everyone.  I miss holding your hand, I miss kissing you hello & goodbye,  I miss going in to the house to find you sitting in the recliner with your bags ready to go,  I miss helping you down the stairs & I miss helping you get in to the van.  I miss the massive amounts of kleenex that were in your pockets.  I miss how you couldn't speak a whole sentence without taking a breath in the middle of it.  I miss how with just one look, i knew whether you were having a good day or a bad day.

I remember last year at Ia Oe, I was the last to arrive in Oakland & the van that I was in was late to the venue.  When we walked in to the dressing room, it was so obvious that everyone had been crying & i had missed whatever had just happened.  I looked over to you, sitting on the seat of the walker & you waved me over.  I went to kiss you hello & you hugged me & said "i'm so glad that you're here."  Even though I had a rough day that day prior to that, with Marcel going in to the ER finding out that he was diabetic, I too was so glad to be there with you.

I love you....