Thursday, December 31, 2009

Hi Mom!!

Anything exciting today?  What're you making for your potluck for your New Years party? We'll be at Kapua's house tonight hanging out & eating.  I am attempting to make your mac salad, Candice's banana cream delight & then some chocolate covered strawberries & cake.  Marcel's making sinigung.  I know that Kapua's going to attempt your mac salad today too & is even making your favorite, spaghetti.  It'll be just like you were there.  I'm sure her mac salad will be better than mine, because everything she makes is so good.  It's not fair. HA!

Well i'm looking forward to ending this year & starting fresh tomorrow.  Although this year was filled with many positive & exciting things, all of those things are overshadowed by you no longer being here anymore.  I would've loved to have you just a little bit longer...but really, how long is that?  How could I put a time limit on how much was "good enough" for me?  Sometimes  I think "if she could've just come to Hawaii with us, I would've been happy."  But then comes the next one..."if she could've made it to Christmas, I would've been happy."  And then the worst for me is..."if she could've made it to see RyRy's first birthday, I would've been happy."  It kills me that she will never know you personally, your hugs, your smile, your kisses & your love.  All that she will hear are stories of just how wonderful you were...and I will take that.  I will ask Nunu to share all the wonderful things about you as their Grandma & how much you loved them.  I will make sure to save the photos of you & the kids, so that they will forever have them & I will cherish those for the rest of my life.

As I bring in the New Year tonight, i'll wish you a Happy New Year....listen for me!! 

I love you...


**New Years 2007 to 2008...

Monday, December 28, 2009

Dear Mom,

Anything exciting today? Kapua, Nanea, Ry & I went to lunch then to Old Navy & Target while Auntie Charlene, Kapua & Jess took the kids to see The Chipmunks 2. Kapua & I talked about you & how we (& everyone else) were missing you.

Tomorrow's Uncle's birthday, so I'm going to take Ry & Nunu to his work & we're going to make him a rice/spam/egg birthday cake just like we did for Dad this year....remember?



I forgot to tell you that last week at the halau Christmas party, Kili took another picture of Kapua, Rachel & I. Only this year it was WITH the babies, unlike last years when we were all pregnant...

**last years halau Christmas party...


**this years halau Christmas party...


Well, i'm feeling like Suzie Homemaker today. I cleaned house, made corn chowder for dinner & am baking cakes right now. I KNOW!!

Anyway, I hope that you are enjoying yourself. I miss you everyday.

Love you.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Dear Mom,

How was your Christmas? Did you get anything good? Did you have your own Christmas party? I'm sure you did...playing tons of games & eating ono food.

Our Christmas was good too. The kids got all kinds of good stuff. Nunu got clothes, DS games & a video game chair (yikes) & Ry got some toys & clothes. We spent Christmas day at Uncle Kamo's house, we ate prime rib, king crab, ham, potato salad, rice & veggies. THEN we went to meet the gang at Muckleshoot for dinner. There was about 27 of us. It was so neat to go there & not have to wait for food to cook or clean up!! I think that just may be a new tradition!!

We are all definitely missing you this year. It's not just me. I received a few text messages, saw a lot of Facebook updates & saw on people's faces that this year was just different without you here. I went to the house yesterday & put a picture of the girls in a "I love my Grandma" frame next to your urn. I sat on the bed, stared at the urn & the photos that surround it & told you that i loved you & missed you....i do. Very much.

I'm trying my best to move forward, but it's just hard when someone that I used to talk to several times a day & see everyday is no longer here. I know that you don't want us to be sad, but it's hard not to be. I miss everything about you & dream of you often...

i love you.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Dear Mom,

Today is a rough day for me.  I've been crying off & on all day long, since I woke up.  But I know that I am not the only one missing you today (and everyday), I hear a few of us are all taking the holidays a little rough right now.  But I know you...I know that you'd want us to continue & have a good time.  If not for us, for the kids...because we know that you loved making sure that the kids were taken care of during Christmas time.

We bought Ry a few gifts.  1 big noisy toy with lots of buttons & music & then a bunch of warm clothes.  Nyomi has all kinds of stuff...from clothes, to a new robe, house slippers & of course, a DS game. I think we kind of went overboard with her, especially knowing that she'll get a lot from everyone else too.  Oh well!  I have a picture frame here that I got for you to put next to your urn at the house & it says "I love Grandma" & I put the girls picture in it.  I have to go & take it to the house tomorrow.

Today we'll be at my inlaws like we usually are every year.  Dad went with Uncle Glenn & Auntie Momi to lunch, then shopping then they'll be hanging out at their house for the day, having dinner & what not.  Tomorrow, we'll be heading over to Uncle Kamo's house in the afternoon, then we're meeting Uncle, Auntie Nana, her family, Kapua & her family & inlaws at Muckleshoot.  I know, I know...what the hell?  (lol)  No one felt like cooking & cleaning up...so we thought we'd try something new this year & GO OUT to eat, so that someone else can clean up!  I think it sounds like a GREAT idea.  And it'll remind me of you, since you loved it there.

I'm missing you so much today & I just wish that you could be here with us...

I love you.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Morning Mom,

Yesterday the halau Christmas party went well! We played games, we ate, we laughed, we ate, we played the white elephant game, we ate, then watched the slideshow...and ate again.

Dad brought your urn to the halau wrapped up in the velvet blue bag with the maroon vinyl bag over that. We laughed about how we should put it on the white elephant table & let someone pick you. We decided that you'd laugh about it too, so we did just that. Nalani picked the bag, because the bag was so pretty. She opened it up & said " is this an urn?" while we all laughed at her. We told her that we thought it would be funny & then let her pick another gift. It was hilarious.

Kili directed a few games which included the humming game. Each table was a team, so you had to send a "hummer" up to Kili for the song to hum, then go back to your table & have them guess it first. Of course, the cheating table...which included Auntie Sue, Auntie Charlene & Uncle won, but when it was my turn, my table came up close to the front of the room & Kapua mouthed to me "cover her mouth." So when Auntie Charlene & I got our song to hum, we turned towards our teams & when Kili yelled go, I put my right hand over Auntie's mouth, held her close with my left hand & started humming. Our corner was yelling & rolling from laughing. It was SO funny. And you know Auntie...she yelled at me & told me that she'd get me back.

It was a great day & it was so obvious that everyone misses you. There was a lot of tears during the slideshow & I cried again watching the part with you...even though i've seen it four times already.

Last night I had a dream. It seemed so real. And this morning I woke up kind of excited because I thought it was real. I was at home & my phone rang with your ring tone, Iz's - Somewhere Over The Rainbow & your name showed up. I answered it & asked what you were doing today. You were out Christmas shopping with Auntie Charlene. I asked who you guys were buying for & where else you were going & told you to call me when & if you go to dinner...

I miss you. I love you. And I still cry everyday because I still can't believe that you're not here anymore...

Friday, December 18, 2009

Dear Mama,

It's about 10:20pm & I'm done getting my things together for tomorrow. Tomorrow is the halau Christmas party. I know that you originally had it for Sunday, but we changed it to Saturday. Kili is in charge of games. We didn't find a Santa, but i think it'll be fine if Uncle passes out the gifts to the kids. We're doing the white elephant gift exchange as usual & the raffle also. I have things to raffle off & i'm really excited about it...i'll tell you what it is later, in case someone is reading this!

Tonight Nunu is at my inlaws helping my mother inlaw bake her Christmas cookies & biscotti, Marcel is working & Ry is sleeping. Daddy just called & he's working too.

Guess what? Ry is crawling all over now! I just wish she'd crawl over to me when she gets upset...instead she just lays there & screams! ha!

Ry crawling!

tj© | MySpace Video

Well, I know that tomorrow's slideshow will spark tears, but I just don't want anyone to ever forget you.

I love you...

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dear Mama,

I miss you.

I've been working on getting the slideshow together for the halau Christmas party this Saturday & it will be hard to finally put it all together with the music & everything. There are so many pictures of you, as there always is. I'm debating on whether to put the piece of you dancing with Na Leo in it. It might spark tears early on in the video if I put it in the May segment...maybe I'll just leave it for the ending. We'll see.

I've been trying to pick up where you left off as far everything goes but am having a hard time trying to figure out where to start. I want to wave my hands over everything & have it all be done. Too bad it's not that simple.

I still have the cut up t-shirt & sweatshirt here on the table from when the EMT's cut it off of you. I pick it up & smell it often...it smells like you. I have 2 framed photos that Auntie Jan made that sit here on the table, next to the box of cards that we received from your service in Seattle. I know that I have to move forward...holomua...but am just having a hard time letting you go.

I love you...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dear Mom,

Nothing exciting today for me. Today is Marcel's 31st birthday & he spent his day working & will spend the evening relaxing at home while I take the girls to hula. I asked him today when he called on his lunch break if he minded me going to hula tonight & he did not. My inlaws are going to call him later to invite him over for dinner & to give him his card.

Tonight is going to be my first night back dancing. I haven't danced since this...



We did have class the week that you passed, but I didn't feel like dancing. I wanted to save & remember that last time for just a little longer. Tonight I'm excited to go back & have that little bit of normalcy back.

Today was a hard day for me. I cried off & on all day long. I'm just missing you is all & wish that we could just go back. Even for just one more day.

We're trying to plan our halau Christmas party, which is set for next week. I decided that we were not going to do secret santa gift exchange this year, because time is just too short. But we are going to do the white elephant & kids gifts from Santa. I wasn't planning on doing the yearly slideshow as I usually do, because I don't have much time (just 1 week) & just wasn't in to it. But today Daddy asked me if I would, so that I could pay tribute to Auntie Pat, Uncle Val & you as I do for all of those that we lose each year. I will try my hardest this week to get it done, but I know it won't be as well as the other years have been.

I miss you like crazy...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Dear Mom,

Anything exciting today? :) Ry woke me up at 9am & so I decided to get up, get ready & we went grocery shopping. The Safeway by your house had a re-grand opening & they sent coupons out for a free case of water, free apple juice, & free eggs (which i would've given to you). Now Ry is down for a nap & I can catch up on some things.

Yesterday I went by the house while Dad was at his dentist appointment. Prior to coming home from Honolulu, I thought that I'd put your urn in the bottom of your china hutch along with all of the maile lei from the service. But ever since we came home, Dad has put the urn on your bed & left it in the room, because that's where you always were & liked to be. So when I went to the house yesterday, I decided to clear off the top of the dresser & made a spot there. The urn is surrounded by the maile & photos of the kids. Dad said he liked it there & that the room smelled so nice.

Tonight I'm meeting Kapua at the halau & we're going to try & organize ourselves & figure out where you left off. I found the notebook next to your bed that has a bunch of information in it that will be helpful for us.

I know that you are happy & pain free now & are playing games with aunties from Secret Society up there. I hope that you're having a great day....i love you.

Just me,
Tani

***************************

To those of you that are still following this blog, I am working on an entry that will tell of Mom's last 2 days. The last entry of her living was on the day that she & Dad went to the casino. Hopefully by this time next week, I will have that up for all of you. Aloha for continuing to visit.


**Ry & Nunu at the Natatorium


**Daddy with Ry & Nunu & your urn at the Natatorium

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Dear Mom,

We're all back home in Seattle from our trip to Honolulu.  It's FREEZING here!!  When we left Honolulu it was low 80's & when we landed in Seattle it was 25 degrees.

Our trip back home was nice, but definitely not the same.  I tried my best to have a good time, but it wasn't a vacation for me.  I understood that my family wanted to go to the beach, but I just wanted to surround myself with the family.

I can't believe 3 weeks have already gone by & I miss you so much. I find myself wanting to call you to say the usual "anything exciting today?"  or sending you a picture text of the girls or Ry doing something funny.  Lately she's been sticking her tongue out, licking her lips & then smacking her lips as if something tastes good.  It's pretty funny.

While I know that you are in a better place, I still wish that I could have you here with me.  I never minded helping you get around, get up off of the bed, drive you around & taking you places.  I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

I miss you so much...

Just me,
Tani

Mom's Seattle Service

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I am still currently in Honolulu & both of Mom's services are complete. Looking back on them both, the only regret that I now have, is that we didn't bring anyone with us to take photos of the service here in Honolulu. In Seattle, I asked my hula sister, Kili & a very good friend, Nic to take photos of Mom's service. I wanted to make sure that I remembered that day & so that I can see all that had attended in case, I didn't get a chance to see them in the line.


Today, while visiting Kili's blog, I saw that she had posted her photos. I am having a hard time embedding the slideshow here, but please visit Kili's bog by clicking HERE. I will hopefully be receiving some of Nic's photo's soon so that I can add them here as well.

While we were saying our "hello's" & "goodbye's," I was asked several times to continue this blog. I was thinking about doing so prior to everyone asking, but now I just need to find a new direction with it. I can't decide whether I want to keep it up with my family's adventures & lives or if I'd like to write the entries as letters to Mom. I think I'm leaning more towards letters to Mom. We'll see...

Sunday, November 22, 2009

**Just found out that I forgot to put the date...HELLOOOO!?!? lol

A memorial is being held in HONOLULU, HI. Below are the details...

Mililani Memorial Park & Mortuary

website

20 North Kukui Street

Honolulu, HI 96813

SUNDAY - NOVEMBER 29, 2009

Memorial: 8:30am - 11:00am

Service: 11:00am - Noon

Casual dress. Light refreshements & pastries will be served.

************************

Mahalo to ALL of you that came last yesterday to Mom's services & to all of the ladies & men of Ke'ala 'O Kamailelauli'ili'i & Manawaiopuna for all of your hard work. Mom's service yesterday couldn't have been more Perfect.

A month prior to Mom's passing, she told Auntie Denice that she wanted to be cremated. Auntie Day told Dad & I, but Mom never made mention of anything else that she wanted. The day before Mom's passing, her & Dad were having a conversation....

Dad: I understand that you told your sister that you wanted to be cremated

Mom: Yes

Dad: Is there anything else you want?

Mom: I want my service to be like Uncle Val's (a good friends, husband who just passed 3mo ago) nice & simple

Dad: Ok, anything else?

Mom: 200 balloons....all green

Dad: Why balloons?

Mom: When my service is done, i want everyone to go outside & let them all go


We made it happen. One of the services that Mt. View Funeral Home offered was "release of 100 'green' biodegradable balloons," & they offered them in any color that we wanted. (the 'green' meant earth friendly, not the color lol) So last night, the first 200 people got balloons & EVERYONE went outside & we all let them go together. It was just so beautiful & just as she wanted.

We are heading to Honolulu on Tuesday...Dad, Myself, My family & some of Mom's good friends. We will be spending Thanksgiving with the family & then on Sunday, we will be having a memorial. For those in Hawaii, I really hope that you folks can join us. And please, please, please let me know who you are & how you know Mom. I've heard so many stories throughout my life of all these wonderful people that were in Mom's life at one point & I'd love to meet all of you.

Mahalo for all of the love, prayers & support....

Monday, November 16, 2009

Services for Mom have been finalized & are as follows...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

3pm - 6pm

Public Viewing from 3-4pm
Service from 4-5pm
Reception from 5-6pm

Mountain View Funeral Home
Aspen Chapel - Celebration of Life Building
4100 Steilacoom Blvd. SW
Lakewood, WA 98499
WEBSITE

**Please do not bring any flowers as Mom is being cremated

For those back home in Hawaii, we will be bringing Mom's ashes to Honolulu next week to hold a service there. As soon as the information is available, I will update here.

Mahalo to ALL of you that have been calling, emailing, texting, etc. We are overwhelmed with love & joy & are so thankful to each & every one of you.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

This morning at 3:51am, Mom went home. No more cancer, no more treatments, no more poking & prodding, no more out of breath moments. Instead, I pray that she will continue to watch over all of us & guide us all in this sad time.

I love you Mommy...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Decided to change the header again today to my new favorite photo of Mom.

Here's the old one.


This week we were given the week off from hula & I must say, it's been really nice to not have anything planned. However, there are some moments where I wished that we did have class so that I could take Mom to just get out of the house.

I didn't start this blog to sugar coat anything, it was started simply because I know that Mom is loved by so many & a lot of folks wanted to know how she was doing. When we came back from our trip to California, Mom was exhausted. She slept on & off for almost 2 1/2 days. She was really weak & had no energy. I planned to have a birthday dinner for Nyomi the day after we returned & even though Mom went with us, it was so obvious that she was so worn out. It was actually pretty scary. She's been having a hard time going up the stairs & needs to take a break 1/2 way up. But coming down, it's much easier on her. She spends most of her time in her room relaxing & taking it easy & hardly eats anything at all. I, along with everyone else, have been trying to get her to eat-eat-eat, but she just has no appetite. A good day for her is when she drinks a full bottle of Ensure & drinks some soup (maybe 2 shot glasses worth) a couple of times a day & maybe has a little poi. Like I said...that's a "good day" for her.

Yesterday (Wednesday), I was feeling a bit uneasy because the night before she was so exhausted out at dinner. But when I met Kapua at her house in the afternoon, she was sitting up at the dining room table, eating some Cream of Wheat & sipping on some Vitamin Water. After she was finished, I rubbed her hands & arms with lotion, while Kapua did her head, neck, back, feet & legs. After that Kapua cleaned Mom's ears & just massaged her a little bit. I was so happy to see Mom back to where she was prior to leaving for California.

Today she was feeling so good that Dad took her to the casino, so we know she's doing good, right?

Well I just pray that she will continue to find the strength within her to keep fighting, because I pray for it everyday. Thank you all so much for leaving her messages & everything, it means so much to see how much she is loved & cared about.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

We are officially back from our trip to Ia Oe E Ka La & it was GREAT!! Full of many emotions, ups, downs, costume issues, lei making til the wee hours of the morning, lack of sleep, happy hugs, happy tears....but it was GREAT!!

We came home with SEVEN trophies...

**Alaka'i won 1st place Kane soloist

**Okekai won 1st place Wahine soloist

**Group Kane won 2nd place in Kahiko

**Group Kane won 1st place in Auana

**Palua (boy/girl combined) won 1st place in Kahiko

**Palua won 2nd place in Auana

**Perpetual trophy for highest points for Group Kane & Wahine


On Friday (soloist day), I knew for sure that Mom wasn't going to ho'opa'a, but she sat in the 1st row on both kahiko performances. Then when Okekai & Alaka'i were getting ready for their auana songs, Mom asked me "Can you ask Auntie Charlene to put my makeup on?" And I knew that was it...she was going to play bass for them. And she did. It was SO wonderful to see her up there, playing...tapping her foot, bobbing her head to the music & smiling away.

On Saturday, it was all kahiko performances for us. Mom seemed tired all day, not eating much or drinking much, just in the mood to sleep & relax & we tried to make that happen as best as we could in the dressing room. (she didn't want to go away from the action) When we were done with all of our songs, we decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner & then headed back to the hotel, because we had lei to make. We had a quick meeting & then Mom got some rest while we made our lei's til the weeeeee hours of the morning.

On Sunday morning, Mom was doing way better & was very well rested. She started off her day with her Ensure, which i'm positive is a good morning boost for her! She played music for all three of our performances on this day & I enjoyed, along with many others, watching her get up to play.

After all of our performances, we had a long break until the awards ceremony so Mom decided to take a nap in the car, which lasted a good hour & a half at least. Aloha & I went to get her just before the awards & she sat at the bottom of our bleachers in her walker next to Uncle. As soon as Okekai was announced as the winner of her soloist division, Mom started to cry...as did everyone else. But you could see that she was just so proud. And as the awards kept rolling in & our name kept being announced, she cried more & more. The most touching part of the awards ceremony was that for every award that was announced, everyone came to give Mom a hug & a honi.

It was a great weekend.


**Alaka'i with ho'opa'a getting ready to go on stage for kahiko

**Okekai on stage for her kahiko performance


**Auntie Charlene doing Mom's makeup so that she can play music for the soloists


**Alaka'i on stage for Kananaka


**Look at Mom's face...priceless!

**Okekai performing Nani Manoa


**Palua getting ready for their kahiko performance


**Mom left the dressing room a little earlier than everyone so that she could go in to the venue to get a good seat, so everyone made a bridge for her to go through on her way out.

**After the Palua kahiko performance

**The Kane getting ready for their kahiko performance. Alaka'i is obviously bored! (ha) And their lei were wet which is why they're wearing their pareau underneath it. But it actually looks like they're all wearing capes & acting like superheroes! lol


**The girls getting ready to go on for kahiko. Our song talks about a parrot, hence the different color skirts.

**Wahine line after performing

**Palua getting ready to go on for auana


**Mom giving high-five's & knuckles on her way out to the stage to play

**Walking out to the microphones

**Overlooking the stage


**Palua after their auana performance


**Mom with the Palua line. Jordahn, Jason, Albert, Justin, Alaka'i, Leilani, Tishy & Puamohala


**Uncle Mark Ho'omalu saw Mom as he was making his way to the stage & said "Sweetie, GET UP off that chair & walk!" He came to honi her & had so many nice (and funny) things to say to her.


**When Uncle Mark yelled at Mom to get up, she pulled her bandana off of her head & one of his dancers, Justin, came up & said "HEY AUNTIE, NOW WE'RE COOL TOGETHER!"


**The Kane group after their auana performance - Justin, Stefan, Jason, Albert & Alaka'i


**Kane with the musicians of Ke'ala 'O Kamailelauli'ili'i & Manawaiopuna


**The Wahine & Musicians of Ke'ala 'O Kamailelauli'ili'i & Manawaiopuna


**Mom's reaction after the announcement of our first award. You can see everyone looking at her in the background too.

**Everyone gave Mom honi's after they went on stage to get their awards

**The CRAZIES of Ke'ala 'O Kamailelauli'ili'i & Manawaiopuna!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

LET'S GOOOOOO!!! We're less than 24 hours away from leaving for Oakland, CA & we are SO excited!! Can you tell??

The Thursday night girls have their last practice tonight & then most of the group leaves bright & early in the morning, so hopefully practice won't last too long!!

Mom is doing well. Her voice is coming back surely but slowly. She's been resting up the past few days preparing for this trip & I know that she was done packing her bags on Tuesday. (over-achiever!! lol)

I hope that if anything this weekend, she just relaxes & has fun & takes everything in.

Go Ke'ala 'O Kamailelauli'ili'i & Manawaiopuna!! :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Changed the header again!!



I haven't posted since Saturday...I know, I'm a slacker!! But things are well. Mom has been getting good rest & sleeping well. She's been eating often, yet still has a sore throat, which prevents her from eating some things that will make her gain weight. However, her poi & raw fish continue & will always continue to satisfy her.

We're getting ready to travel to Oakland this weekend to compete in Ia Oe E Ka La. This is our first time going & we're very excited to go! Mom is not going to ho'opa'a this year & isn't sure yet if she'll be playing Hinano (the bass) either. I know that she wants to be up there on the stage with us. I also know that I'd rather her take it easy then over-do herself. Over-doing it doesn't help her at all & causes more fatigue than anything.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much i've learned throughout all of this. This meaning, things about my Mom, this disease, the treatments, the doctors, the procedures, the human body, etc. It's amazing. Most of all, i've learned that you should never take those you love for granted & should always remind them that you love them....even if you think they already know.

Love you all.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween from our family to all of yours!!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Today Mom was feeling good, had a good night sleep last night & was all smiles when the girls & I got to their house this morning.  We arrived a bit early after running a few errands, so we thought we'd sit with her & Dad & visit.

Around 11am, we (Mom, Dad, Me, Ry, Nyomi, Uncle Glenn & Auntie Momi) headed to Group Health for her appointment at 11:50am.  Mom lost 6lbs since her last weigh in at the radiologist office & her blood pressure was low.  It's typically low anyway, but today was lower than usual.  They asked if she was feeling ok & if she was dizzy & she was not.  When her oncologist came in, she asked how Mom was feeling, if she was in any pain & checked her lungs.  Mom has been walking with a cane lately because she feels unsteady on her left foot.  When Mom was given chemotherapy (prior to the radiation) one of the side effects was to lose feeling in her nerve endings (fingers, hands & feet).  She did experience the tingling in her hands & feet & while her right side came back to normal, her left side did not.  She experiences needle-like feeling (similar to when your hand/foot falls asleep) in her left hand & her left foot.  And the numbness in the foot makes her uncomfortable, so she now uses a cane to feel more balanced.  Dr. Reddy said that this will probably never go back to normal, which was a bit unsettling.  I asked about this cut that was on Mom's tongue since last week (it appeared to look like a cold sore, but didn't go away) & she said that it looks like thrush & gave Mom a prescription for more pills to get rid of that.  Dr. Reddy showed us the scans from Mom's lungs after the chemo treatments & she said that the chemo didn't do much.  I didn't see a side by side comparison from the before chemo & after, so i can't tell whether it worked even a little bit.  When the appointment was over, we told Dr. Reddy that we were going to go to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance & that we'd switched insurance.  She wished us well & asked to be kept informed.  She hugged Mom & Mom thanked her for everything that she's done.

This evening, Dad called to tell me that Mom mentioned that her throat has been sore lately (a side effect of the radiation) & for me, that says a lot, because she's only been eating soups, poi & poke.  I'm hoping that when her throat feels better, she can eat more things with more substance to make her gain more weight.

I see her almost everyday & I see that her spirit is still good, but I also see that sometimes little things that used to come so easy...no longer does & she gets frustrated.  I hope that after the effects of the radiation wear off that she will feel better & eat more & gain lotsa weight.

Thanks for the love that you all give her everyday....it means the world.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Today was another great day!! YAY!!

The girls & I went to get Mom & Dad, then we picked up Auntie Sue & Uncle Pete & we were off to Seattle. I still can't get over how HORRIBLE people drive in Seattle. And the rain just makes it worse!! After getting through the downtown traffic, we were golden!! We arrived at the Hawaii General Store around 11:40am & spent some time with Gail, Terry & the rest of the crew!! They all greeted Mom with fresh lei (soooo jealous!) & Gail made sure that Mom didn't leave without her "medicine" (crack seed LOL). we stayed for almost an hour & then we made our trek to Dick's Drive-In (just up a block from the HGS). It was SOOOOOO good!! :)

After we were done feeding our faces, we headed home & relaxed & took naps, before hula practice tonight.

Tomorrow, we go to our last Group Health appointment with Dr. Reddy who's been taking care of Mom for about a year now. I hope to find some answers to a few questions that we have. I'll post again tomorrow to let you know how it goes!!

Mahalo for the love that you all continue to show Mom. She & Dad do come by often to read the comments & the love that you all leave her.

**Arriving at the Hawaii General Store

**Honi's from Gail!! :)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Another good day & who could ask for anything more? I can tell when Mom is having a good day by her voice the first time I talk to her during the day. I can also tell when she's tired or not having a good day. This morning, I could tell she was having a good day, but was quickly informed that her day wasn't going as planned because Dad had overslept a bit when they were supposed to go to Muckleshoot & claim their luggage as Preferred Players.

You see, for the last 3 weeks, they were able to collect pieces to this luggage set, however every time they went, Muckleshoot had run out. And this time they were determined to collect their bag & thought they'd go early in the morning. But when I called close to 10am, she had mentioned that she had "planned" to leave around 8:30 & that they were running late. It was quite funny.

I met up with her at the halau this evening to just hang out & watch the boys class.

Tomorrow we are going to the Hawaii General Store & to Dick's Drive In for lunch & I can't wait!! I will definitely get a few photos of our excursion tomorrow.

Hope everyone is well & healthy!!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Yesterday, Mom & Dad took Gram, Auntie Day & Kellan to the airport to go back home to Honolulu. I woke up just before they left so that I could say my goodbye's, but enjoyed telling them that i would see them in just a few short weeks.

Mom spent the day catching up on her rest & had no plans until hula in the evening, followed by dinner at L & L. I didn't see her at all yesterday, but did talk to her a few times throughout the day.

We have an appointment with her oncologist from Group Health on Friday morning to follow up & to see the scans of her neck/lung area to see if the chemo had any effect on those areas. That will be our last appointment with Group Health.

I'm looking forward to being a part of the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance for a new fresh start on having more time with Mom.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Changed up the header again...but forgot to post the one before this, so here's the last 2.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

It's Sunday, which only means a full day of hula & eating!!  We've only got 12 more days until we arrive in Pleasanton, CA to compete in Ia Oe E Ka La & every week the halau improves more & more.  We're are excited to get out of town, especially since it's been so cold lately.

Candice left back to Honolulu yesterday morning & tomorrow, Grandma, Auntie Day & Kellan go home.  Right now it's 9:36pm & they all went to the casino one last time before they leave.  I'm not excited to have a quiet & empty house.  And I'm sure that Mom is not looking forward to them leaving either.  I know that she will cry tomorrow & be very sad.  But it will only be a few short weeks before we are with them again, only in the warm sun in Hawaii.

Here's Mom & Rylie hanging out at halau today...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Well it's Friday morning & the plan is....there is no plan for today other than dinner later on!!

Yesterday's last radiation appointment went well as it always does & Auntie Sue & Uncle Pete brought a "YAY!" cake to celebrate.  After Mom came out of her treatment, the cake was waiting on the coffee table right in the middle of all of us & we all laughed & cheered that it was her last day!!  She also received a certificate of completion of radiation & a coffee cup.  We all sat around, ate our cake & shared with whom ever wanted a piece, then we left.

Last night was a hula night, but I didn't want to take Rylie, so I stayed home until Marcel was able to come home & take care of her & then I went to class.  After we were done, we decided to go to Olive Garden (again) for dinner!!

Today Mom will be making a follow-up appointment with her oncologist (from Group Health, not Dr. Eaton) to see her.  Prior to this radiation treatment, Mom was doing chemotherapy because they found some new growths in her neck area.  However, when they found the tumors on her brain, they stopped the chemo & started on radiation right away.  We're unsure whether the chemo had worked on the growths on her neck area or on her lungs & we'd like to see those scan results.

Well today is going to be full of resting & eating!!  I hope everyone has a great weekend!!


**sorry for the blurry picture of the YAY Cake

**Mom & Auntie Sue enjoying some cake

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Guess what today is!?!?  It's Mom's last day of radiation.  Her last day of radiation to her head was on Monday & today is her last day on her neck.  It will be weird to not go to the radiology oncology office every day.  But it is a HAPPY DAY today!!

I apologize for not keeping up every day & I will soon get back in to the routine, once Rylie is back up & fully recovered.  She still has a cough, along with an ear infection, so we're just not too healthy right now.

Yesterday, Mom made no plans for herself & wanted to rest & sleep in, so Auntie Day, Candice, Kellan, Rylie & I went to breakfast & then to the grocery store to buy some odds & ends for dinner.  (chop steak with onion)  And then we came home, I took Mom to radiation & then we came back to my house & were LAZY alllllllll night long!!

Perhaps that's why I haven't updated much.  Because it seems like we've been just resting, relaxing, eating & enjoying one anothers company.

I hope everyone is well & healthy.  Thank you for continuing to leave Mom some love on her blog!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Apologies for the missed blog post yesterday, my house is passing colds around like they are the hottest thing on the market...it's AWFUL!! :( Rylie is back down with a fever, sniffles & a cough & is not sleeping well at all!!

Well yesterday was a great day!! We were up at 6am & on the road to Seattle by 6:45am. Luckily there was no traffic & we arrived at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance at 7:40am. We all had to take a cough & flu survey & ended up at that Dad & Kellan had symptoms of a cold & could not go in with us & had to sit in a different waiting area (along with Auntie Day). The rest of us went in to the waiting area & then we were called in to the dr's office at exactly 8:15am. The nurse took her vitals & everything was good (blood pressure, pulse, etc) & then we were to wait for Dr. Eaton.

When he came in to the room, I remembered him from the last time we saw him. He looked at Mom & said "you look GREAT!!" He then went in to asking her how she was feeling & what she understood of her current situation. He sat back & listened & took notes as Mom talked. Once in awhile, when he would ask her something...he'd look at me & I would either nod in agreement or shake my head in disagreement, it was kind of funny. Once in awhile, I, Auntie Sue or Uncle Pete would add to some things that were said or give a little more information. In the end, Dr. Eaton recommended a few options for us, about 3-4 different options including something similar to Mom's 1st chemo drug doxyrubicin that worked really well. He told us that he'd write up his recommendations for us to take to her next oncology appointment & then Mom asked him "well what if I want you to be my new doctor?" & he said "OH!! Well that would be great!!" & we told him that we were in the process of switching insurance & that he would be our new dr.

After about an hour & a half, we were finally done with the consultation. He sent in his assistant, Linda, who gave Mom a big binder full of information regarding the facility, phone numbers, etc. We then met the scheduling girl, Lindsey & that was it.

Mom said that she really liked her meeting with Dr. Eaton & felt comfortable with him. We will be going back to see him next month, just before we leave for Hawaii.

My overall feeling about the SCCA was that it was just a breath of fresh air....something new, something different. A good different & a good feeling about it all & we're excited for this new step!

After we were done, we headed for IHOP because Mom was hungry for pancakes & then we went to the store because Gram was going to make her famous recipe - can spaghetti. (HAHHAHA) We came home to my house & just lazy'd around for a few hours until Mom's radiation appointment.

It was Mom's last head radiation & we've only got 3 more treatments to her neck & we're done. Today, she is going to meet with the radiology oncologist first & then to her radiation appointment.

Other than that, no other plans today!! We're enjoying having the family here & eating & just spending quality time with one another. Thank you for everyone who continue to come here every day to read up on the latest with Mom. Also, she was so excited to see that her blog has reached people that she hasn't seen in years!!

Here's a video of Mom & Ry playing Peek A Boo while waiting for Dr. Eaton to come in!! :)

**sorry, about the private video before, i changed it & hopefully you can see it now!!**

tj©'s Video

tj© | MySpace Video

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I apologize for not posting anything yesterday!!  We've been busy with the family....eating! HA!!

Yesterday was pretty uneventful.  Mom, Gram & Uncle came over around 11:30 for breakfast, then everyone went to store to get stuff for dinner & we ate dinner.  Other than that we bummed around & did absolutely nothing!

Today, it was an early hula morning for us, so we were at halau at 8:30am & left there shortly after 4pm.  Again, another eating day!  Right now, we're just relaxing at my house, watching what else?  FOOD NETWORK!! :)

Tomorrow, we are going for our 2nd opinion at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance in the morning, then to radiation in the afternoon.  I will be sure to put up an update to our day tomorrow!!

Hope everyone is safe & had a good weekend!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Sadly, I have been down all day not feeling well...myself & Rylie.  So we had to skip out on today's radiation appointment, so that Mom doesn't get sick.  I was told that everything went well & that the nurses missed Rylie today.

I talked to Mom off & on all day about our plans for the evening & picking up Gram, Auntie Day & Kellan tonight & I'll be going with her...at least, the last time i checked, i was.

I received an email from Uncle Danny Kaopuiki today, letting me know that the October issue of Holoholo Northwest is online for all to read.  Please stop by & check out Mom's article & photos!!

Click HERE for the front page & HERE to go straight to the article!!  Thanks again Uncle Danny!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I love to come here & post that Mom is having a good day.  Today was no different.  Another good day, feeling well rested & eating quite often! 

There was no plans prior to Mom's appointment, so I showed up at the house around 1:15, had some lunch & we were off to her appointment.  It seems as though her appointments get shorter & shorter, but in reality, i think that "the team" is just so busy talking story that we don't realize the time that passes us by.  Uncle Pete & Auntie Sue bought Mom some malasadas from L&L today, but Mom didn't share any with us. ha!

After Mom's appointment, Nyomi decided to stay with Mom until it was time to meet for hula practice & after practice the gang went to Olive Garden for Mom's fetuccini alfredo.

Tomorrow, Gram, Auntie Day & Kellan come in & i'm so excited to have them here!! 


**Getting ready to go in for her radiation treatment

**Finished with treatment & wearing a shirt that Jamsie bought her that says "Hawaiian chicks have the best coconuts" LOL

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Things are moving along here!! This morning I received a phone call from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance to schedule an appointment with them. Sadly the first date they had was this Friday at 3pm & that doesn't work for us because Mom's radiation appointments are at 2:30pm in Tacoma. WAAAAY on the other side of town! So we are going there bright & early on Monday morning at 8:15am. (not excited about fighting the Monday morning traffic, but Starbucks should fix that right up!!)

Today, Mom met Auntie Patsy, Uncle Earl, Auntie Sue & Auntie Charlene for breakfast at IHOP. I spoke with Auntie Sue after they were done & she said that Mom ate a lot. So that's great! We met at Mom's around 1:15, ate some lunch that Uncle Glenn & Auntie Momi brought over & then we were off to her appointment.

Things went fast today & Mom was feeling good again! I'm not sure that she got enough rest today, but I'm not positive.

I woke up with a fever, but the rest was gone. And then about an hour before heading to Mom's, my fever broke & I was fine again. However, tonight, I've got a hint of the chills again, so i'm wrapped up in a blanket again.

Thanks for all the messages & love, I know that Mom comes on to read once in awhile & I'm sure that it makes her day to see that you all think of her often!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Another good day here!! Mom was feeling a 9 out of 10 today, so that's always good!!

Again, we had no plans for our morning & I headed over to Mom & Dad's around 12:30. We went to Mom's appointment as usual & all went well. When we arrive, we all sit in the waiting room & Mom sits for a few minutes to catch her breath & then heads back to have her treatment done. After about 15min, the nurse guy came out & said "TANYA?" I looked around the room & then at him & said "ME?" & he said "yes Troy asked that you come back." We all got a small laugh out of it. He said that once a week she meets with the Dr. to go over how things are feeling & going & was waiting for the Dr to come in. So i sat with her while her nurse went over some things...

She lost 4lbs from last week to this week (again, not going to disclose #'s) & he asked how her appetite was. We both said "GOOD!" & she told him that she eats all the time (which she does). He told her that 4lbs in 1 week isn't bad, but that she should eat often even when she's not hungry (to which she said "NO PROBLEM") & that she should eat lots of carbs. She LOVES fettuccine alfredo! Her blood pressure was 130/80 (which is good, but a little high for her). She told the Dr that she's been feeling good, eating good & sleeping good. The Dr said that he noticed that her neck area is obviously responding to the radiation, because the tissue is soft & has shrunken down since he's seen her last. He then asked about her voice, it's a little raspy, & we assumed that its from the radiation, so he checked inside her mouth for thrush & sure enough there's is some in the back of her throat area. So he prescribed a medication to get rid of it & said that it should help with her raspy'ness. He said that Monday would be the last day for her radiation to her brain & Thursday would be the last for her neck area. He asked when our next appointment is with Mom's oncologist & that is on Tuesday.

I asked when we'd be taking another scan (to see if all is working ok) & he said in about 6-8 weeks. (BOO!) When I asked why, he said that the radiation continues to work well after treatments & they typically wait until it's supposed to be done working before they order new scans, unless something goes wrong or her dr orders it. I'm very eager to see results, because i'm confident that it's doing something. He said that even over the next 3 weeks or so we'll see more shrinkage in her neck area. YAY!!

After that meeting, she did her radiation treatment, then we left. We went to get her new medication filled & then went home.

Sadly, I came home feeling a little under the weather (chills, headache, etc) & i'm hoping its just a "night thing" & goes away by tomorrow. Mom's got a breakfast date tomorrow & then treatment in the afternoon. 3 days til Gram, Auntie & my little cousin comes in & 5 days til my cousin comes!! I can't wait!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

It's another cold day here in Seattle & this morning we made no plans...just to meet at Mom & Dad's when it was time to go to radiation.

I had made contact with a long time family friend, Nohe Ka, who works at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, about getting Mom in for a 2nd opinion. For me, at this point, Group Health said that there was nothing more they could do for her, so why not see if there's something that could help to give us a little more time. I'm happy to say that this morning, we officially got the ball rolling on getting an appointment for a 2nd opinion.

For those that have been following our journey, you will know that this will kind of be a 3rd opinion as we went to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance back in December of 2007. (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance & The Fred Hutchinson CRC are connected along with Childrens Hospital & UW Medical) At that time, we met with Dr. Eaton who stated that all of Mom's treatment up to that point was on point & had suggested doing a clinical trial with them. She chose not to do so & ended up staying with Group Health & doing chemotherapy in February of 2008.

I am looking forward to getting an appointment just to see if they have any options for us.

On the way to Mom's radiation appointment today, we all talked about our evenings last night, what we had for dinner & so on. I told Mom that Marcel had made pork chops & mushroom gravy & that my inlaws had come over. We talked about other stuff & soon arrived at her radiation appointment. After her appointment was over, we were getting in the car & I ALWAYS ask her "is there anything you want to get on the way home?" & it's usually always followed with "no, i'm good, let's go home." Not today...today's answer was "ummm, i think i want to stop at the store...i'm ono for pork chops & mushroom gravy!" And so we did & that's what's on her menu tonight. :)

Today she seemed more tired than usual & said that she was going to stay home from halau & rest tonight since there's only one class. I told her that i'd call her later on to check in on her. Otherwise, she had a good relaxing day.


**Photo taken at our first - 2nd opinion appointment at SCCA - December 28, 2007

New Header Picture

Another header picture change...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Another great day for Mom today. Busy, but great!

For the past few weeks, hula practice has been in full force in preparation for Ia Oe E Ka La hula competition in Pleasanton, California at the beginning of November. And Mom's latest news of the cancer spreading in to her brain, hasn't kept her from being at the halau to support as she always has. Halau is her sanctuary. It's where she loves to be.

Going on this trip to see our halau perform at this competition is just one of many things that Mom had planned way back when & this latest news is not holding her back. We're going & that's that!!

Sunday's are a full day of practice for all that are going to competition, so we potluck & plan to just hang out all day long & today was no different. Mom didn't take a nap like she usually does, but she ate off & on all day. So did everyone else who was there. After a long day at halau, she went home & is just relaxing tonight!

When I got home, I received an email from Uncle Danny Kaopuiki who many of you know that used to write for the NW Hawaii Times when it was in publication. As soon as I received his email, I called Mom to share it with her. His email was just so wonderful to receive & confirmed that my Mom has truly blessed not only me & my family, but also so many others...thank you Uncle Danny for allowing me to share your email & the draft of your upcoming column!

*******************************

Aloha Tanya.......

Please give my love to your Mom..........I have loved, admired and respected her for so many,many years and am always. always so entranced with her lovely smile and warm affectionate hug she shares with me each time we meet! You already know what a special lady she is and I consider her one of the true Icons of Hawaiiana here in the Pacific NW.

I used to write for the NW Hawaii Times (which went out of existence earlier this year) and have since been persuaded to keep writing my "Holoholo" column on line. Attached is a draft of my next column (google "Holoholo Northwest") which will be going on line the 15th of October 2009...I plan to open the column with the information about your Mom, my dear friend Sweetie Camacho......could you send me a picture (or pictures of her and maybe like the one of the Halau at E Hula Mau which you have prefacing your "Just me Sweetie" blog) that I could use with the column? Mahalo.....I would also welcome any input you would like me to include in the column (perhaps the latest on your plans to visit Hawaii....or whatever you think people would like to know)..........

Your blog is outstanding........anyway, please review my draft and I would like your comments plus any pictures you would like to have added to the column...by the way: my columns are strictly a "labor love" (I don't get any money for it but do it because I want to keep our Hawaiian community (like we used to do with the NW Hawaii Times newspaper) in the Pacific NW updated on people/events/activities that impact all of us)........Mahalo and give your Mom my love....Danny Kaopuiki

And here is the draft of his column....

"She is sooooo sweet....and soooo talented..........and sooooooooooo loved! One of the most popular Hawaiian wahines in the Pacific Northwest, someone who has shared of herself, of her love and Aloha with all of us for a long, long time! Now, it have become a time for us to share, to give support to Sweetie Camacho! Several years ago Sweetie was diagnosed with cancer in her thyroids which she seemed to have gotten under control when the cancer spread to her lungs and even then, it seemed that this feisty wahine had begun to beat the odds......the cancer has now gone to her brain. For most mortal souls, this would have been time to say “Enough is enough...I quit!”...but Sweetie is not a quitter and she continues to fight every day! The doctors had to stop the chemo treatments she had been receiving for her lung cancer so they could focus radiation treatment on the brain cancer!

Sweetie Camacho........a volleyball player extraordinaire... a volleyball coach who helped develop a number of young, future star volleyball players here in Washington....a musician who caused a lot of open mouthed admiration when she got on stage with Earl Cerbana (guitarist) and Kumu Hula Kamaile Hamada (ukulele) and played a standup bass (auwe, every other wahine we know play da uke or maybe da guitar but standup bass? Da only other Hawaiian we know who played standup bass is Robert Cazimero (and truth be known, Sweetie almost as good as Robert))....a singer with the lilt of an angel in her voice when she harmonized with Earl and Kamaile...a hula-dancer-second-to-none who was an instrumental part of the Halau Hula Kamaile Lauli`ili`i winning numerous E Hula Mau (in California) and Mai Kahiki Mai (in Washington State) hula competitions! But more, much more important than her athletic and her musical abilities is the Aloha she has in her heart........admired and respected friend to so many! Most importantly, Sweetie is a fantastic wife and mother and grandmother!

Sweetie Camacho’s daughter Tanya says her Mom has received a lot of phone calls, emails and cards of support from those who are familiar with what is happening but there are many, many more of us who did not realize the latest in Sweetie’s health status. Just me Sweetie is an internet blog that Tanya has created to keep Sweetie’s family and friends and fans updated on how Sweetie is doing! Type in Just me Sweetie on your computer and find out what’s happening...more important: respond to her with your Aloha and prayers and words of support! Aloha my dear friend Sweetie...mahalo for all that you have done for our Hawaiian community here........God Bless You and Yours!!!!!"

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Today is a lazy day for all of us. Mom is at home relaxing after a late night out last night. They went to the C&K concert & then went to China Town to eat some duck. I received a phone call at 2am from Dad that jolted me out of bed (not a fan of late night phone calls) & their garage door opener wasn't working, so they wanted to come & get the one that I had for their house. Dad snapped a few pictures from their evening & they all had a great time!!