Friday, February 26, 2010

Dear Mama,

Anything exciting today?  Not much here.  I was up early, ran my errands early & spent majority of the day here at home.  This evening, I took Nunu to my inlaws & spent some time over there while they played with Ry.  My inlaws & Nunu are going clam digging tomorrow.  Something about being out there in the cold rain doesn't sound appealing.  Marcel is working tonight & I just put Ry down for the night...so I have some quiet time & am enjoying it while watching the Olympics.

Short track is intense, isn't it!?

I've been so consumed with planning Ry's first birthday party, it's just ridiculous.  I see these cute things that I want to try & then it ends up being a part of her party.  I finally wrote a list today of the goodies that I'm going to make, I finalized the centerpieces & finalized the different decorations for the tables.  It's just crazy, but I know it's going to be fun.

I miss you.  I miss you everyday.  I still find myself wanting to call you just to chat or check in.  As I drive your van, sometimes I think back to the last day...the last hours, when I was driving & you were sitting next to me in the passenger seat.  I think of all the things that you would do or say when I'm just not so sure.  I think of all the things you did to keep halau in order & wonder how you did it all.

I received a wonderful email yesterday from the folks at Sight Life.  (Mom was a donor & had her cornea's donated)  I wrote them about a week & a half ago, asking if they had found anyone to receive your corneas & a lady wrote back saying that they were successfully transplanted & given to 2 different recipients.  One to a 60 year old man & the other to a 57 year old man.  She gave me paperwork on how to get in contact with them if I choose to do so.  The way that it's handled reminds me of adoption paperwork.  I can write a letter, but they don't want me using my last name, address or much personal information.  After it's written, I send it to Sight Life & they forward it on to the recipients.  If the recipients choose to reply, they have to send it to Sight Life who then forwards it to me.  I'm not to crazy about the 3rd party deal, but that's just how it works. I want to tell these men how wonderful you were & how you've impacted so many people & all about your journey, but am unsure if that is too much information.  It is my hope to meet them, to bring them to a show or to halau, to show them first hand what those eyes have seen all these years, who them all the people who miss you & love you.

Well, I know that you're better off now & are no longer coughing, struggling to breathe, walking tall, singing your heart out...but I'm selfish & wish that I could have you back.

I love you...