Friday, January 22, 2010

Dear Mom,

Ugh....i miss you.

I've been missing you so much lately. I've been crying off & on since last night. Just the thought of you, things you did, things you said, images of your face....makes me cry.

I just wish that I could have you here again for one more day. Just one. I'd make it the best day ever. I'm not sure what we'd do exactly, but I know that I would take the time to hug you more, to hold your hand, to tell you that I love you over & over & tell you that I never regretted my desicion to leave my job to help take care of you & make sure that I was there with you throughout all of your appointments & stuff. NEVER.

I sometimes feel bad, because I know that a week prior to you leaving, that Marcel found out that he was diabetic & I was struggling with trying to keep up with what was going on with you & the new found things that were going on with him at the same time. In my mind, I was having a battle with myself trying to stay calm & that all was going to be ok with time. To only have you leave a week later...I kind of felt like God took you because I was getting overwhelmed. And it's not true...I could've adjusted. It's just not fair.

I think of you every night before I go to sleep & wonder if you're there with me. In my mind, my Ry sleeps through the nights now because you're there sleeping & snuggling with her.

I miss you so much today & everyday...