Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year Mama!!

I had originally planned on writing yesterday but had nothing other than "happy new year."  What did you folks do?  Did you play games?  We spent the evening at Kapua's house with her family, my family, Uncle, Auntie Charlene, Aloha, Prentice & all the kids.  We ate tons & laughed.  I missed you so much when we went around the room to say "happy new year" & to give hugs & kisses.  It's just not the same...

Yesterday, I had originally planned on cleaning the house (like clean-clean with no one home), but my plan kind of fell through & I didn't get much done.  I was having anxiety issues off & on though...I'd had it in my brain to put all of your things (the cards from your services, old birthday cards, my favorite photos, your obituary's, the guestbooks, etc) all in this turquoise fabric box that you'd given me back when Ry was born.  But everytime I took something over to the box to put it in there, I'd get this anxious feeling & had a hard time putting them inside.  I felt like I was storing memories of you in a box to be put away & forgotten about & I don't want to forget ANYTHING.  So most items are still on my dining room table so that I can look at them & see them as I wish.  It's going to take time...

Well I hope that you are doing well & enjoying yourself.  Please give everyone a hug & a honi from me & let them know that I love them too.

I love you...